'MINE!'

When did we stop being a part of the universe, and start living inside it instead.

When we compare an aspect of nature with another, such as a tree to a plant, it is obvious they are two varied parts of the same whole, nature.

It is in this nature of things that i believe the entire human race is bastardised, and i have very strong feelings about this.

We do not view ourselves as parts of this vast universe. We live in it, sure, but no man would hold up his hands and admit that his entire lifes work surmounts to an inconsequential sequence of events and happenings in a system bigger than himself, and his wife would not look up from her newborn baby's face and say to him, congratulations your DNA has been reproduced.

Don't get me wrong, we need to see things for what they arent to see beauty within things, but to a certain extent its dangerous.

Have you ever been told by a conspiracy nut that your just a statistic, just a number to the 'man'? Have you ever been told your ACTING like one? I mean seriously people, ive been watching you all, and your scared, soo scared that golden delicious aren't as tasty as granny smith. TERRIFIED of pc failing and leaving you with the taste of apple, PETRIFIED of your inabilities to try new things, so you all stick to the same brand, the same place, stay there until you have a comfortable rut and never change. THAT is how the machine knows where you are and where you are going to be, its not because of the cctv or gps tracking, its because those systems know you never go anywhere else.

Anyway, i rant and digress.

My point is we, at some point, saw the beauty of the universe and invented a god to give it all to us. Therein lies problems with atheism, We may have shaken the idea of god, but did we give him back his gift to us as a leaving present? No we kept the human idea of the universe being ours, and continue to dig up, reshape, destroy and massacre the earth, and spill oil and pollution out into the air and sea.

You, you unconscious evil vile putrid machine, i see you. Your eyeless cameras watching the un-movers. I will not let you eat me, not without an upset stomach.

We have strived to break free from conformity, at a stabbing attempt at individuality. Human nature seems to make us want to be individuals but still fit in with groups, we want to have Nice shiny things and yet not appear greedy or spoilt. We want the world but not the disasters?

Did ANYONE ever grow up and truly realise you cant have your cake and eat it.

/ end rant.

'that hurts'

I stumbled upon a strange thought today;

What if EVERY human is self destructive.

Or rather, enjoys the feeling of pain. Think about it, is it really that far fetched?

body builders live by the motto 'no pain no gain' Addicts always fight against going back to what cripples them the most. I mean i really don't think its too absurd an idea to grapple with.

To think of it in an evolutionary sense, those who can seek out pain for benefit would have naturally been more comfortable around the suffering, and hence find it easier to survive.

Those of us who enjoyed the pain of exercise would most likely be the one with more physical prowess and hence more likely to survive in battle, or in earlier aeons against a lion, tiger or other such carnivore out to eat our knackers.

I came to the conclusion that self destruction (as opposed to self harm) is almost like stepping up to life and saying 'I'm going to be what kills me'. Though this may seem extremely futile, is it really?

I'm not certain it is 'self destructiveness' that I'm trying to talk about, but rather the nature of enjoying or becoming addicted to suffering of varying forms. it definitely comes from the same notion.

what if we could teach drug addicts that the same feeling that could kill them could also seriously improve their health, what if we could teach fitness fanatics that there is such thing as too much.

Strange to think of fitness buffs as being addicts, but in reality its not the size of the muscle they like, but rather knowing they built it, and they carry on. I'm sure there are more 'roid' raged men out there than there are retired mr universes. but anyway, i digress.

I bring this up more for discussion than to say...hey guys I'm right about this. so please, share your thoughts.

star stuff.

Recent conversations have lead me back down the old road of trying to conceptualise the cosmos above me. Whereas some marvel at the tiny rays of light as holes in the floor of heaven, i myself view it as the machine. Ancient beyond thought. Aeons of constant vast motion and not a single rusty cog, not one groan of an overworked gear or pully. all is as it should be.

What is it?

Observation leads us to believe that they are gigantic states of mass and matter separated by the absence of the former. Different states of that matter produce different results, one side you have a sun. massive amounts of energy bathing the darkness in light and the cold with heat. on the other you have small dots of solidified star stuff. Cooled down globes of molten hot metals, like raindrops frozen mid air. Then you have clouds of gas and dust held together by their sheer enormity. Toxic and lifeless in our bodies, and yet beautiful parts of the whole without them. no matter where you look in the sky there are unseen beauties, Clouds with more colours and shades of the rainbow.

surely somewhere on one of those trillions of specks is more of this. Life. Does there need to be?

Does all of that alien orchestra of the universe have to have something that looks like us to be more? Or do WE have to be more and realise that we ARE the stars. We are made of tiny fragments of what comes from them, we live our lives illuminated by them. We are the sons of the sun. The gentile ghosts getting a milliseconds perception in the blazing everything.

Why?

'God knows'

We must always remember that why is a human thing. Its ours, something we created. And idea to help us understand. Its is what defines us, what shapes us and makes us different. We are aware of ourselves more than the universe above our heads. We see our skin, we feel our bodies, we think with our minds. And yet somehow, its seems we have forgotten our true family. The only way that the sun is not your father is that you cannot conceive the time and space it took to link you both. The distance between us and our giver of warmth and light is only 6 minutes away to light, but to us its YEARS of travelling. Our closest star is however many light years away. That is to say you would have to travel as fast as the fastest thing in the universe for YEARS to to ever be able to say hello face to face. So our relationships to these things are so much more different to everything else. Everything is our family, but we still view it all with our tiny perception of what time is.

Time is to us the tick tock of the clock, the working week, and the shorter weekend. Somewhere in this system we forgot that it is only equal measurements of the spinning and whirling of this rock we stand on. A year is one full orbit of the sun, a day is one full spin on the rock, a second is a 60th of a 60th of a 24th of a 7th of a 4th of a 12th of that spin, the year. (seconds to minutes to hours to days to weeks to months to years.) you see a second doesnt make sense when you explain it like that, so we explain it in bite size chunks. 10 minutes here, a year there. Everything has a different time scale.

unfortunately ours is too short to be able to watch the universe move and sway in all its colours, we will never see it from start to finish. But still it is still a beauty to behold in its frozen state. in our tiny snapshot.

Next time you look up at our ancestors, creators so old as to have been hailed as gods, remember this;

'We are star stuff'

The Beginning of things to come.

'I have a dream'

It appears the vast majority of human kind experiences a deep urge to become something of significance. Not by the judgements of society, but by the judgements of self. To be something YOU have always wanted to be. Its almost definitely shown itself as the 'dream' ideal.

It can be as basic as 'when i grow up i want to be.....' or as complex and as terrifying as the mid life crisis.

I also seems that these dreams are hardly often realised, as there are far too many demands to keep a roof over your head, and a pillow under it. So as we grind away clocking on and clocking off, so do our dreams grind down into forgotten ideals. Concepts of ourselves that could have been. But considering there are nearly 7billion human lives on this earth, it seems a very slim chance that there is even ROOM for all those ideas and hopes, let alone the chance of actually realising it.

My 'dream' Is to become a photo-journalist. I want to show people things, and help them get the full picture, i want to express myself through people, places, things, stories. I don't know if I'd be any good at it, but if you asked the average 6 year old what they know about space travel, im sure you would hardly be convinced aeronautics is the right career path for them.

Bear with me, and read along. This is my first step, my first outburst of words i put onto this blog, and something to look back on as 'the start'

I know that in my pursuit of this, my 'pieces' will be in pieces. I will start them and allow them to come whole in front of my eyes.

Expect to see more about human dreams, and where they lead us.